The 40 Year Old Virgin is better than sex*

*having sex with me anyway, but I'm pretty sure most things are. I've been thinking a lot about it and really it's been all downhill since losing my virginity. I don't cry anymore like I did that first time, but really my first go was probably the best. I think it's because I did all the work. I was trying everything I ever imagined doing (which actually wasn't very much) and I really experimented...you know...changing speeds, changing the length of my thrusting etc, etc...well basically that was it, but hey I tried.
She said I'd get better, she lied, SHE LIED!
I thought I'd get better, I cried, I CRIED,
It was better then 'cause I tried, I TRIED.
Now, I have it down to a science and I don't do any work at all. I'm bad...and let's not even get to oral sex...don't even go there...seriously, you'd get hurt.
Anyhoo, the movie was probably the most enjoyable movie I've ever seen. It was like mainlining brain candy. Mmmm...brain candy...